Sexistentialism

So you’re here for the sex. I’m ok with that.

But I also hope you find a whole lot more here than only the sex, because for me, sex is about a whole lot more than only the sex.

What even is a sexologist?

I like to call myself a sex scientist, although you might be more familiar with the term sexologist. However, a lot of people confuse sexology with psycho-sexual therapy and think I’m a sex therapist. I’m not. So let me explain.

Sexology is not a profession. It’s a field of study – the scientific study of human sexuality. People who say they are sexologists usually have some kind of qualification in sexology. This is often added to a professional qualification such as psychology - so your psychologist might also be a psychosexual therapist - specialising in helping people find therapeutic/clinical solutions to a range of challenges related to sexuality and relationships. Or education - these are our wonderful sex educators.

I have studied sexology with police officers, aged care workers, GPs, sex workers, art therapists, journalists and flight attendants - just a few fields for which an addition of sexology is incredibly meaningful.

Me: sexologist/sex scientist/sex nerd/ sex philosopher

I’m a journalist and teacher by profession so I am confident as a sex educator and I hope to continue to gain experience in public health and sexual support work. I’ve worked professionally as an educator, writer and communicator and now have an incredibly rewarding job which involves developing and implementing strategies that work towards the prevention of sexual assault and sexual harassment.

I have a Graduate Diploma in Sexology (from Curtin University) and a Master of Science in Medicine (Sexual and Reproductive Health) – Public Health, from the University of Sydney. I am really proud of these qualifications. Sexuality is a vulnerable space and it’s an honour to be allowed to step into it with other humans. I try to do so with integrity, knowledge, compassion and an open heart.

But I am also a person for whom my lived experience of sex and sexuality has been profound. The words that come up for me immediately when I think of my sex life are: transformative, enriching, instructive, romantic, magical, thought-provoking, challenging and transcendent. My study has been accompanied by what I call my ‘fieldwork’- my lived experience.

What you’ll find here

I think about sex a lot, but not only in the sexy way (although I think about it in the sexy way a lot too!) So here you’ll find me unpacking my thoughts, and sometimes my feelings.

Sometimes there’ll be something romantic, poetic, with maybe a touch of heartbreak – I’m a writer after all and I love to play in my art.

Sometimes it might be erotica – because I believe beautiful erotic writing can give us something that pornography often can’t.

Sometimes it will be educational or political or scientific – because I’m obsessed with the science of sex!

And sometimes it will be philosophical because, if anything, philosophy – the love of wisdom and the art of wondering - is my first and abiding love. I am possibly an even better thinker than I am a lover!;)

Sometimes it will be a snippet from my brain, maybe a voice note, maybe a photo that turns me on…

Of course, there’s a podcast brewing - if that’s what you want (I know I do!)

I’ll aim to post weekly to start, and as this little corner starts to build I’ll see where it takes us.

Build this with me?

I hope to create a community here. Likeminded souls to wonder and explore and share together. I want you to ask me things and suggest topics and reach out to me. Tell me when I don’t make sense and tell me when I do. I love nothing more than cracking something apart and seeing what’s inside. Yep, I’m a scientist at heart!

Most of what I share here will be informed by my lived experience or driven by questions arising from my life. Eventually some of my more vulnerable pieces will be tucked behind a paid subscription. I believe those who create content should be rewarded for their efforts. It’s work – even if we love to do it – and content is what helps others think and wonder, to be entertained, and to learn. Not everyone can – or wants to – do it. Capitalism is one of my least favourite things and so it’s taken me a long time to learn how to value what it is I uniquely bring to the world. But I know this is it.

So here it is, Sexistentialism. My take on sex, with an existential lens and a personal flavour.

Welcome. I hope you like it.

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